


When It Snows

by avio



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 19:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5597641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avio/pseuds/avio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time it snows, like REALLY snows, people make their way to the same spot in an yet-spoken promise. Last time wasn't too great, but maybe this time will make everything worth it in the end. [Gaara is agender in this!]</p>
            </blockquote>





	When It Snows

**Author's Note:**

> so my internet went down and i've been re-obsessed w this pairing. it was supposed to be a chance meeting in the snow but it kind of evolved from that into somewhat emo shit but i would like to think i retained the general hipster feel i was goin for lmdo. anyways so here have this please enjoy okay <3

 

The sky was light and hazy, despite the late hour. It had been a long time since it snowed so much in one day, and right now the snow scattered, directionless, sticking to the ground and piling upon the inches. It was as if it was making up for the years it had been so light, and while the day had been dangerous and cold, the residents of the city would be glad for the addition to the lake when it all melted.

One of said residents was walking down the empty street, amongst long-since-closed-for-the-day local businesses and the stray bar visitor stumbling home, heading downtown where all the hotels and casinos. If one were so inclined, they could take an elevator to the highest hotel where the view would be perfect, and this boy was definitely inclined, shivering and trying to walk quickly without slipping. He was excited about something, _anxious_ , but excited.

Armed to the teeth in layers of sweaters under coat, he made it to said hotel, staring out the window of the elevator as he rose up, up, up, pulling the flaps of his hat over peaks of blond hair. His nerves were tight and his breathing was heavy.

It was just as beautiful as he thought it would be, and he was doubly pleased to see the other figure leaning against the side, looking at the bright casino lights and flutters of snow, a flurry of red hair atop a bundle of scarves.

He grinned, a sense of relief flooding through him, and wordlessly joined the redhead's side.

It was a silent tradition, ever since he was a middle school delinquent, who'd originally come here to do away with the pain he'd felt. He'd been immediately enamoured by the experience of the view however, and came every time it snowed like this. It seemed to happen more often back then, and at some point through those years, the other kid started showing up.

_Do you think I'd feel more alive if I jumped?_

Neither said a word for a long time, both of them merely admiring the city's beauty.

“Glad to see you here,” the blond's voice would have been loud, but it was swallowed by the flurry of snow, muting it. It could not mute his wide smile as he finally turned to his companion, who said nothing, did nothing for a moment before turning their head slowly to look back only to be caught off guard by such a smile. Light green eyes narrowed to focus on it, and a paused breath finally appearing in a puff of cold air.

“Naruto Uzumaki.”

“Hey, you remembered! I never thought you were really paying attention, to be all that honest.” Naruto chuckled, turning back to the quiet scene before them and completely unaware of minutely widened eyes.

Of _course_ they remembered.

_All Naruto ever did was talk, it seemed. Gaara had only wanted some peace and quiet and this ridiculous troublemaker would somehow take their silence as consent to continue. They'd grown used to it over the scattered visits, though, as it took their mind off of other things, darker things they didn't want to have to think about. They would listen attentively, and let the boy distract them from the reasons they came here in the first place. Besides,the talking always died down to a comfortable silence, and the two would merely watch and breathe._

_It was the last time, three years ago, when they were both seniors in high school, that Naruto had been later than usual. That Gaara had to suffer the whirlwind of thoughts in their mind for longer than they usually did these nights, and they only wanted to feel alive again, and stared at the ledge._

_When the other finally did appear (Gaara had begun to wonder if he ever would, had hoped to be done with this before he did) it was to Gaara standing atop the ledge._

_“What the hell do you think you're doing?”_

_“Do you think I'd feel more alive if I jumped?” The question was more to themself than to Naruto, and they began to lean._

_Naruto ran, slipped, got up, and lurched forward in a desperate attempt to grab the other. Shaking hands gripped their arm, clawing at their sleeve and Naruto was for once thankful that he lost his gloves, didn't care about the numb cold because at least he had enough feeling to hold on tightly._

How could Gaara forget his name? They had fallen in love that night, so very completely, so unabashedly. There had been nothing they could do about it, couldn't even fight it. They'd been so glad to hear the blond approach, ecstatic at the concern in the other's voice.

_“Hey, I get it. No, really, I do. Like, the first time I came here, I was gonna do the same damn thing.”_

“I was always listening. I just never felt the need to reply in so many words.”

“You're replying today, though! Way more than you usually do!” Bright blue eyes sparkling in the snowy haze, and Gaara again could not breathe. “I'm really glad! I like hearing your voice!” Unspoken, he liked it better like this, when it wasn't tripping over itself in pain.

“So it seems I am.”

_“I really mean it. I couldn't take it anymore.”_

“Does that mean we can be friends?”

“I thought we already were. From the way you always carry on, you would think you always thought we were friends.” Gaara's smile was hidden under the scarf.

“Well, yeah! But it's even better if you feel the same!” His words were so pure, so honest, and Gaara had doubt in their mind but it was hard to hold onto when Naruto was so _earnest_ about _everything._

 _“What do you know?” Gaara had snarled, voice louder than it had ever been. “Nobody gives a shit about me. They're afraid of me because of something I did when I was_ five _, and I always feel dead inside. In pain I can feel alive, but what's the point of being alive anymore?” They were pouring out their soul to this kid, this kid they barely knew other than a companion on snowy nights. Tears streaked down their face. “I can't sleep at night, all I do is think about everything and how much I hate all of it. My father despises me. My siblings wont look at me.”_

“Hey, y'know, I don't even know your name. You know mine, but I don't know yours. What kind of friendship is this?”

A sharp push of air through his nose, a quiet laugh. “It's Gaara.”

Naruto's face lit up brighter, smile ear to ear. “This is awesome! Officially friends! I didn't even know if you'd be here today, and now we're friends! Officially!”

Gaara was almost overwhelmed by how much they enjoyed the other's happiness, enjoyed the smile and clear eyes. How could Naruto have any idea that on that day, they'd fallen in love with him?

_“It really sucks, but I hope you know that I'm right here, y'know? I mean, I don't even know if you ever hear me, but I wanna be your friend! And I can't be your friend if you're not here! Or, shit, I didn't mean to sound that selfish. Shit. What I mean, is that you don't have to be alone anymore.”_

“So, hey, hey, Gaara? It's getting late, y'know, and a lot colder, but, uh, um...”

“What is it?”

“I still wanna hang out? If you still want to, I mean. We can go to one of the cafe's in the casino, get some hot chocolate or something?” Naruto could barely handle how badly he wanted to get closer to this person, this enigma of the past years, a beautiful being who knew his loneliness. He was beside himself in giddiness that Gaara had been more talkative, had even told him their name, had even _been here._ They'd been here, with beautiful green eyes and rusty hair flecked in snowflakes. “I mean, just if you want! It's my treat! We can probably find a nice spot inside to, uh, sit. And... talk?”

_“It really sucks being alone, doesn't it? A pain like that is unlike any other, right?”_

Gaara paused, tried to keep their breathing steady. “I don't see why not.” They were inclined to agree – it was freezing, too cold to stand outside anymore, but to sacrifice any precious time with Naruto filled hthem with dread.

Naruto was excited to finally make it _official-_ official, hanging out with Gaara aside from the cold nights on the roof, excited to be friends and to be in his presence.

_“Even if you don't feel like it, or believe it, I'm right here.”_

~

The casino was empty but not quiet, sounds of slot machines and far-away pop music on the speakers filling the air. A few people were at the machines, and there was a small group at the bar. This city didn't sleep, even if it was much smaller than most.

The two were at a table as far away from the din as they could, faded chimes and xylophone noises the only sounds other than Naruto's animated talking and Gaara's quiet responses. Jackets were lain over the sides of the accompanying chairs, scarves folded on the seats. Both were thankful for this.

“I really am glad you were there again tonight. I dunno if I've ever been as scared as I was when... yeah. I mean, I don't mean to bring it up. I just... I just wanted to make sure you knew that.” _I feel like a part of me would have died with you? Hah aha that's weird, Naruto, stop! You barely know them!_

Gaara looked at the whipped cream atop their hot chocolate, thoughtful, lips pressed in a line. “I... I am, as well. I never knew someone could truly understand me, you know. Who would have imagined it would be you?” Their words were clear. _Of course it would be you._ “I... I wish to thank you. For that night. I know I did not act grateful, but I was. Or, I am, now.”

Naruto beamed, whipped cream on his nose and Gaara was overcome with the ridiculous urge to clean it off. They resisted it, choosing to smile faintly at how silly it looked. “Hey, it's no problem! Seriously! I think... if my counselor didn't happen to text me at that time, I probably never would have met you, myself. And I know I'm really thankful that I didn't do it! So I was hoping you would be, too.” Naruto hadn't eluded to his own moment of pain at all during the night, and hadn't said a lot about it That Night, either. Just enough for Gaara to understand, to get it. “And especially now, y'know? It's been a really nice night, and we are official-official friends now! It's really cool.”

He hadn't voiced the thought that _he just couldn't stop thinking about them._

Gaara hummed in agreement, sipping daintily at the beverage. Naruto had already finished his, but was in no rush to leave. He only watched while Gaara worked on their chocolate, fascinated with every movement, each time pale lips pursed at the rim and dark eyelashes met, each time they exhaled into the mug.

It almost felt like a date, and the thought brought a blush to Naruto's cheeks. There had always been something about Gaara that sang to him, pulled him near, made him desperate to be around them. He'd always secretly mourned that the only time they came together was when it snowed. He wanted more, even if he couldn't explain it, himself.

Gaara's eyes flicked up to meet his, and they held his gaze, and they were beautiful. Both forgot their need for oxygen.

“H-hey, Gaara?” He almost sounded afraid to speak.

Gaara understood this fear, because something in Naruto's voice made them fear whatever it was he wanted to ask. They almost didn't answer, but it would have been rude, and this moment felt so important for some reason. “Yes?”

“So, uh, hey. Do you believe in, um. In. Love among strangers? Like, kind of like, uh, love at first sight, but not quite? Like... strangers who don't know anything about each other, but still know enough to... really... l-love each other?”

What a question, and did Gaara dare allow the small flame of hope that suddenly ignited? Dare they let it burn? Dare they answer truthfully?

“I do believe in such a thing, as I think that--” They cut themself off, inhaling sharply, deeply, nerves abuzz. “The answer is yes.” Dark fingers reached for their hand, gently placing themselves over it. Gaara felt ready to brace themself, for what they weren't completely certain, but they needed to be prepared.

“S-so, do you believe in _this?_ Maybe?” There was fear in Naruto's eyes, wide and open and vulnerable. He squeezed their hand so that his meaning would not be lost. His heartbeat thrummed and everything was slow, slow, slow.

Gaara's voice was almost unheard, they were trembling. “Yes.”

“Thank god.” There was a breathy laugh, then Naruto leaned over the table, hoping that-- yes, Gaara had met him half way, and they kissed, and it was sweet and chaste. Fingers laced and stayed that way even as the two pulled apart. Naruto's smile was wide as ever, Gaara's own lips twitched upwards, their eyes never leaving each other.

“Cool,” was all Naruto said, leaning onto his opposite hand, finally looking away. “Cause, like, I really like you? Haha, it's a good thing you get it or I'd feel a lot creepier right now. It's like, uh, y'know, I want to know you! And I want to mean something to you!”

“You already mean something to me, Naruto.” _Everything,_ and oh, they meant it. They meant it completely and with all they had.

Hot chocolate turned into more wandering around the near-empty casino, which eventually brought them to one of the exits.

“Uh, haha, I don't really want this to end.” Naruto gazed outside the large glass doors. “It's been a really great night!”

Gaara shook their head, quietly confessed that they didn't want to go home, didn't want the night to end either. “But this will hopefully be the first night of many?”

“Hell yeah!” They exchanged numbers, prepared to go their separate ways, when Gaara turned and reached for Naruto's hand, pulling him closer.

This kiss was wetter, more desperate, more _everything_ and a chill went through the blond as fingers tangled in his hair and lips parted and _yes this is it this is perfect_. The smallest of sounds escaped his mouth and he could feel himself being backed against the wall.

When they shifted away, Naruto stared at Gaara, dazed. “This better not be good-bye.”

“Absolutely not. It is a promise.” They gently cupped his chin, giving him another kiss.

And they were gone, leaving an empty space in Naruto's heart. He didn't feel sad, though, didn't regret. He smiled down at the new contact in his phone before adjusting his hat and going out into the cold to walk home. He knew exactly who he'd be texting first thing when he woke up the next day.

 

_“It really sucks being alone, doesn't it? A pain like that is unlike any other, right? Even if you don't feel like it, or believe it, I'm right here. Seriously. I promise I wont let you be alone.”_

_“I'm going home.”_

_“Will you be here next time?”_

_“I don't know.”_

_“Please?”_

_“You'd better know what you're saying.”_

_“I do! I swear! It's a promise! You'll never have to be alone again.”_

_“Then... perhaps I will see you again. Next time.”_

_“When it snows?”_

_“When it snows.”_

 


End file.
